DISPLAYING HOARDING

‘Papa see him, he’s studying in my class’ my VIth standard son drag my attention towards the gigantic hoarding at the Bytco point recently. ‘See, he got his so big photo there, why can’t I have?’ his comparison & jealousy was spilling out. Even I was stumbled to note that what a young boy to do with the hoarding which are normally the domain of the politicians, leaders, film stars, cricketers & half naked models with toothpaste or soap or mobile phone or such trivial item wielding in their hands.

Yet, to pacify my son who was looking at me in deep dismay, as if I achieved nothing in whole of my life. Being a proud father of 11 year old son if I can not even get his photo printed on the hoarding in the middle of the highway than it is big shame on me, I realized. So first I pacified him with a jumbo pack of Kurkure flashing my favorite actress Juhi Chawla & one Cadbury bar with my favorite actor Amitabh Bachchans’ face onto it. He immediately forgot his defeat against his schoolmate of not having his photo the moment he got hold of his packets.

But, how could I forget his defeat? I decided to somehow get him a known figure in Nashik. I even discussed this subject at length with my friend Joshi over a cup of coffee during day time & over a glass of beer in the evening. Finally I convinced him to convince me to spend some money to get his photo printed onto the hoarding. But, he rightly suggested that there must be some reason to announce on the hoarding since so many passers by would see it.

The idea came like a bolt from the blue to my mind. Coming 27th would be completion of whole month that is some 720 hours (my goodness!!!!) of my quitting cigarette. I swear, touch wood I’d not smoked. Well, whatever smoke I inhaled through my smoking friends & smoking vehicles must not be considered here. So finally I decided to celebrate the 27th of my non smoking monthly anniversary.

And as I was convinced to spend money I called for the quotations for the hoarding. ‘As you go for searching you get knowledge about’ I had read this quote somewhere, I never knew that I was going to taste the value of that quote so soon in my life. ‘flex hoardings are the cheapest’, ‘you don’t need any stand to put on the hoardings’, ‘you just fix your hoarding on somebody else’s & by the time he protests your motive is solved’, you do not need any stand to put on hoardings, manage on somebody else’s’, ‘do not worry of municipal officials if the hoarding corners are printed in saffron or green colour’, ‘if possible print a political party’s flag in the corner’ , ‘one must ensure that the hoarding must be as big as possible & should be displayed in the middle of the road, how otherwise people will notice it? Etc. etc.

So, I decided to print small size hoarding of 30 feet x 55 feet. ‘Below this size people won’t notice the hoarding itself. I nodded in affirmation since motive has to be solved. I discussed with the printing guy who had already had minimum mid size & normally big sized hoarding printed. He recommended having all our family members be seen top to toe in the hoarding. His idea cost me another few thousands rupees as son & nephew needed the three piece suit. I’d to buy white shoe with white socks. These white socks I left wearing the day I left my school. White pant I stitched at DS Tailors at MG road, I was told to take due precaution that the crown on cuffs of Louis Philippe must appear in the photo along with the duplicate hundred rupees Rolex wristwatch. Wife, mother, sister in law were more than happy to buy the zari saree. If we all are going to pose in the middle of the road why not take the maid servant my mother suggested, when would she get such a chance & increase her business as well. So we bought five hundred rupees saree for her too. Care was taken that nobody would cover head with the palloo, ‘see any day newspaper for photo of MLA Shobha Bachchav’ printer cautioned. Palloo must cover both the shoulders he pointed. My brothers just don’t like publicity at all they prefer to pose half in their regular white shirts. Yet, younger brother had to buy the new Nokia handset which must come in the photo. We all went to main road for our hair cut.

Along with all the family members we pose for the photo. But being generous I felt sad for the two dogs we have & their four pups, parrot & two meowing cats so lastly I included them too in the hoarding. Thank god they did not demand anything neither printer wanted to adorn them.

Lastly, the hoarding came like I’m posing top to toe with 30 feet height as throwing the half burnt cigarette, ladies with their palloo covering their both the shoulders & not the head with their admiration towards my success dropping out of their eyes, brothers in half looking at me with great pleasure, son holding kurkure packet & nephew holding gas balloon, dogs & pups & parrot were made to fill the empty spaces. But the printer made it clear that even the animals were shown happy at my quitting the cigarette.

We’re searching for the right spot now. There is difference of opinion between me, Joshi, my brothers, wife, mother… We are thinking where to display it in the middle of Meher, Ram Kund, CBS, Dwarka, Shalimar, Bytco point or College road.

Well, decision shall be soon taken. For this is matter of my image, my son & nephews’ image. I’d say even animals have image.

By

Vijay Yelmelwar