‘Where is Chile?’ his words were hardly percolating through his thick jungle of moustache. ‘Chili?’ I was more than confused. Already I was feeling tremendously uneasy. The chilly atmosphere in the reception & here in the cabin of interviewer had filled my urinary bladder & it was pressing my already tightened leather belt. The tie was perhaps tied more tightly than required it seemed, it was almost chocking my neck. Since the volley of all those uneasy & unexpected questions were seemingly making it hard to gulp my saliva. ‘Chili must be there in the chili field or in the kitchen’ I wiped my sweat from below the left ear in that chilly air. It was more than an hour waiting outside the cabin in the reception & some fifteen minutes here inside the cabin; my lungs were deprived of smoke. Want of smoke was making my head unclear too. ‘Young man, I meant, Chile the country, where it is?’ It was not the effect of chilly air but his question which sent shiver through my spine; was he planning to send me to Chile or what? ‘You have branch there sir, in Chile?’ I gathered guts to ask him back. ‘No no, I was testing your GK’.
Straight I visited toilet to satisfy my lungs & reprieve my bladder at once. Then first thing I bought was the sphere of earth, who knows someone might ask me where is Madagascar, Peru,…. ‘Which are basic colours?’ ‘How many satellites are there in the solar system’, ‘Who invented cigarettes?’ one should be ready to face all such question during interviews especially when you are going to seek a job of industrial marketing & your specialization is chemistry. When I couldn’t answer the name of cigarette inventor it was a matter of shame for me. Having turned thousands of cigarettes into ashes I must know its inventor. I felt deep pity on me; grief of loosing job was nothing then. Later I postulated that the fellow must have got stumbled over these questions volleyed by his young son or daughter at home. So he’s quenching his thirst this way. But one thing, he wouldn’t ask the relevant questions which he knows he knew them little. By being in dry administration, his touch with basics has faded away.
Many a times you shouldn’t speak your mind but lie especially in the interview, I learnt a hard lesson at the cost of loosing a good job. ‘Strom the structure’ was my flat answer to the years of nagging problem of Ayodhaya during my early interview for a good post in the cement company. I was declined the job. ‘Anywhere but in Punjab’ on, if I could be transferred anywhere, I answered to the interviewer of the leading courier company during Punjab’s worst days in history. I never got reply neither the job.
What they gauge in the interview is really a big question. Since all those forward & bright friends of mine have mugged up & conditioned their brains to ‘lie & only big lie’. While they were preparing to lie I used to pray the god to collect my courage to stand & sit there confidently & answer them. ‘You fool, they don’t listen what you answer; they see how you answer’. You have to bullshit there yet confidently’. My flamboyant & fearless friend said bellowing while puffing borrowed cigarette from me patting my back. Till I breath my last I can not forget his advice.
‘Can you come for the interview on seventeen? To this call just after that advise, I fearlessly said, ‘just a moment, let me check my diary’ took two three puffs then refused to meet the date & asked for delayed date. To my amazement the fellow agreed, plus offered to & fro air fair too. I purposely visited the venue fifteen minutes late & regretted with putting blame on the limo which was supposed to carry me from airport to office. On the contrary I’d visited the place previous night by state transport bus, stayed with friend free of cost. Sat in the chair more comfortable than the interviewer himself. After initial talks it seemed like he was convincing me to join his company & I was reluctant at the post & package he was willing to offer. In the end he paid me more & gave bigger post too.
Perhaps I spoke sheer nonsense which fetch me job with more than hundred & fifty percent jump. Thanks to opening economy, all those bulls & bears are running forward only.
Hats off to my friend who taught me to lie yet confidently.
By
Vijay Yelmelwar
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