AND THE FEAR GRIPS ME

Later I came to know it was just conjunctivitis. The fear of getting blind had gripped me otherwise that morning. I was terribly shaken as it took some while to see the daylight & opening eyelids took a stress on eyelids. I get up, since then, open only one eye then close it, open another to judge both the eyes are working fine. Slowly sit on the bed to see if I’ve lost balance, and then walk two steps slowly to ascertain. I then spit into basin to clear my doubt of throat infection, internal bleeding or say mouth cancer, if I spit blood. While brushing I use normal toothpaste & strontium chloride based toothpaste alternately for saving my forty years old teeth from getting sensitized & saving money too. Take milk not tea or coffee, delivered by our local milkman. I don’t trust the packaged milk what they remove & add to it I doubt if it is the same milk which cow or buffalo produces. For every alternate week there is article recommending or shunning use of coffee or tea. And the fear grips me of unknown disease just in seventies or eighties exactly when I wanted to live more.

‘Mind you if you are not afraid of death how will you survive in battle, it is fear which makes you to wear armour on your body’. I was trying to justify my regular use of helmet while on two wheeler & seat belt on cars. But you see, guys feel otherwise till they bang on something & learn the safety lesson only when they find themselves with hand tied to their neck & legs to the hospital bed midair. I never cross zebra crossing till I’m sure the last bicycle rider has deserted the road. Last I rode bike when I realized it needs to put your foot down to save yourself from falling on stopping the vehicle. Even in this age I bought my new ambassador for the safety reason only, it is iron cage. The RTO forbids else I was planning to weld the hardened steel grills outside the ambassador from all the sides. For long drive I’ve kept helmet ready which I wear inside the car. I don’t trust drivers’ skill, drive on my own. What is the point if you kill yourself by not taking precaution, you won’t get time for repentance too then. I travel with reservation without which I don’t keep foot inside the train; buses are out of question I don’t take bus otherwise too. Even with reservation I prefer an additional travel ticket, if I lose the reservation then? It so happened that, on VT station I’ve lost twenty five paise coin in 1971 the memory is still live here in my mind, who knows …?

I’ve taken due care & instructed everybody at home not to get any tame animals no cats, dogs or any birds. Rabbis is the incurable disease I know, birdflue too is not less deadlier. Well there is notice I’ve kept at my gate for intruders to get them beware of dogs. Any outsiders come & can be potential disease carrier & the fear grips me. Every year there is news in the paper people die of drowning in the swimming pool itself. Why on earth we the terrestrial mammals have to take dip in water? We take bath, drink water with food, make tea & coffee with or mix with liquor, isn’t that enough? I prefer piped cooking LPG gas no cylinders please. There is circuit breaker for each room in my home. Both the doors opening out have quadruplet locking system with additional bolting. For safety reason last year I bought two hockey sticks too which I keep behind the opened doors. Kept money & jewellery at home if burglars still intrudes in they shouldn’t get frustrated on getting nothing & kill us, the fear grips me.

My both the sons & baby doll are pierced with all those vaccines to save them even the disease which caused a death in south central Canada. Since my sister in laws neighbors’ friend live there, who knows…? On reading there is hole to the atmosphere up above on Australia which lets disease causing sun rays penetrate the earth I constantly use Ray ban sun glasses, coat myself with sunscreen lotion & use umbrella while entering & exiting my yet to grilled ambassador.

Of late I over heard, ‘sugar & salt are white poison…’. I’ve decided to quit sugar & salt immediately, milk & milk product causes cholesterol, oily & fried foodstuffs can’t be called foodstuffs, shunned outside food, meat & fish are abandoned. Increased my frequency of total body check up to monthly basis from yearly, bought a weighing scale, treadmill & roving cycle at home.

I’ve made the blunder of my life, however. They say every millionth year a big enough astride strike the earth vanishing everything existing. Smaller one keep banging earth every now & then. I should have at least taken care in building my home in RCC (reinforced cement concrete) than load bearing. It gets me wake up several times in the night to see if the ceiling is cracked somewhere? The fear grips me….

By

Vijay Yelmelwar