FRIEND IS SOMEONE

‘A friend is someone who knows all about you’, like number of holes to your baniyan, colour of your underwear, drinks you gulped last evening, money you borrowed vowing to return by same day noon but didn’t till now, his Louis Philippe shirt you are using whenever he’s gone out, feeds expensive ice cream to his girl friend behind him; ‘& still (he) loves you’. Friends are like that!

You make a note to return to your room not before mid night just managing to walk somehow with the help from your like minded & like behaving other friends. Whilst your friend is waiting for you but he won’t make a bed since it is your turn to make a bed, he is still dozing in the hard sit chair. You come to room fully loaded, make bed & fall onto it. If not vomited remaining night your friend is lucky. He’s is man of words, he’d make it a point to get up three in the early morning or say in the night & roll off the bed & again shift to his hard sit chair to doze. Since it is as per your agreement one would make bed & the other would roll it up next morning. You, not realizing continue to roll on chilled floor, thanks to warmth you gained from last nights’ drinks.

You are a busy man. You’re managing the mess uncle to still let you feed by carrying forward your last three months’ balance; he then puts his weight behind you. He’d assure mess uncle for payment this time, else he’d pay. You, offer him a chance to keep his word, to mess uncle, literally. In volley ball or badminton when you need to get entry he talks to the coach who is also maths professor. Being his pet student the professor would let you in. He’d be the happiest person to see you out not only out of the team but out of this college too, which he’d declared in front of full class room on revealing your miraculous score in the maths exams. You’d take his girl friend to Benhur only for the sake of getting tickets alibiing, ‘girls get tickets soon’, while he’s preparing exam notes for you. Under the guise of compensating her favor you’d then make her see the film with you which turns out to be Dirty Dancing. Friends are like that only.

We planned to reduce at least some of sins of our miser friend who wouldn’t let friends like us even breathe in his room. I only had to convince him that he was simply great, all others are fools & I’d like to follow him, take his refuge. For next six months he sponsored all my expenses, till he realized my plot & I find my next victim.

What if, I borrow something from my friend would he harass me for that & take it? If I use my friends’ brand new expensive jeans & tear if off should he ask for a new? If I bang my friends’ twelve hundred CC bike on the wall should he ask for the compensation? Forget about all those Wadas, Idlies, Pizzas, Burgers, Cokes & drinks he has been sponsoring. After all god has created friends to take care.

We grew up in age friendship remained frozen there only. During my recent visit to Detroit I met my old buddy coincidently. He hadn’t forgotten me even a bit, he offered me his fag, shirts, pants, suit, car all that he had even opened his corner bar he maintained at his flat for me. We’d fun that day, I innocently asked about his college girl friend to whom I’d taken for Dirty Dancing. He shook his head in dismay, ‘we’ve forgotten each other at the happy ending note, she bade me farewell with this present’ he spoke in sunk deep voice showing the gold photo frame with photo of him, her & in between me. ‘You got married?’ I asked him in heavy voice even I was moved. ‘Leaving by tomorrows’ flight he said, ‘for engagement with girl recommended by parents’. ‘Even I’m leaving lets go together even my engagement is due next week’, I said.

In the wee hours we got down from the jumbo to our motherland our fiancées had come to the airport to receive us with their parents. I was ashamed to show him my face as he was aghast to note that my fiancée was his former girl friend who’d once came with me see Benhur & I showed her Dirty Dancing. With my skills I’d fooled her & him.

It took long time, trouble & lot of perspiration for me to convince my true friend to marry his girl friend whilst I offered to marry his fiancée if she wishes so. I was trying my way of doing friendship. After all god has created friends to take care.

By
Vijay Yelmelwar